Welcome to Crazy (thats me)

All of my family and friends have had to endure my roller coaster of emotions with dating...and how terrible I am at it. Most of them give me advice like "you should play hard to get" or "you don't have to tell him everything that is on your mind!". But one of them (you know who you are) stands by me and says "you need to be true to yourself....even if that means being overly honest". Although its always about fifty against that one....I always listen to her and let out the crazy....because lets be honest, I'm going to do it anyways!

My personal opinion is that most of us are crazy. Its just that most girls are better at hiding it. They can conceal that bundle of crazo with a cool, casual smile. Not me! Its written all over my face...everyone can see it. CRAZY!!!

...and I'm single. Weird!

I'm sure you are wondering what brought on this admission of crazy. Well...I am announcing out loud "Hello, my name is Chelsea...and...I have...a...Crazy...problem..."..... because I emailed my Future Husband.

I know, I know.... Crazy! Have you looked at the title of this blog? Have you been listening? I am well aware of my issues...but at least it makes for good stories, right?

Anyways, I emailed him because I want answers, I want closure. Not because, I think anything will change. (Although, it would be nice if he came running back and told me that he was stupid, or that he had temporary amnesia and that the email brought back all of the memories...and he was so happy to remember me.) And then, I could tell him that I have moved on...even though I think it is obvious that I haven't.

so without further ado...here it is... the humiliating proof that I am an emotional basket case.

The email:

Hi Future Husband, (FYI: I used his real name in the email...I am not That crazy...close though ;)

I know this is crazy...me emailing you after you have blown me off. What makes it so crazy is that we only met 3 times.... but I liked you. I have been on lots of dates over the years, and it seems more often than not they are interested in me, and I am not interested in them. You have been one of the few. The only date I have been on in a long long time, that I wanted to see again.

I liked that you seemed confident, not cocky. That I felt you were watching the surroundings, but concentrating on me. You seemed brave, but still admitted you get scared. I liked your sense of humor and that you were calming...but still made me nervous. And more than anything, I thought we got along great.

Truthfully, I could go on, but there is no need.

I just wish you would have been honest with me. I wish you would have told me what happened? You disappeared mid conversation.

Did your ex come back? Did you get hurt? Did you realize that you aren't ready to date? You don't want to date me?

I really thought you were the type to be up front....I didn't see this happening with you. I'm aware that I barely know you...but you presented yourself so different, and I believed you.

I guess that's all....

Chelsea

So there it is. Still no response.. I am sure there wont be. But, at least I was true to myself. Right?

Ugh, dating!