Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Single Holidays

During the holidays, its like a mad rush to meet someone…but I think that is because people are not focusing on the positives of being single. Sure, it sucks going to all the holiday parties by yourself (unless there are cute single boys waiting for your amazing charm and phone number at these parties)…but normally that is not the case. Normally, you are wandering from one couple to the next, trying not to be the third wheel… and hoping that another desperately single person arrives.
But, instead of focusing on the bad, I like to focus on the good side of the dreaded SINGLE HOLIDAYS…
For instance… This week, I bought myself a cute purse I had been wanting for over a month. If I was in a relationship, I would have had to spend money on my boyfriend…not this year! Instead, I got to spend my money on me! Now, I know, this also means that I am not receiving any gifts…but lets be honest, my imaginary boyfriend bought me exactly what I wanted…I couldn’t say that this would happen with a real boyfriend.  
I also, get to spend the holidays with my family. I don’t have to share my time with ‘his’ family. There is no debate, no discussion….just exactly what I want to do, when I want to. I can wear my pajamas all day long, and no future In-laws will be there to judge me! Heck yes!
On New Years Eve, I can make out with as many boys as I want…not just one. More kisses=more good luck the following year…right?
So, to all my single friends out there… Merry Christmas!!! And Happy, Kiss-full, New Year!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

The Compulsive Liar

He only told the truth about the things most people would lie about…
I met The Compulsive Liar online…ofcourse.  We went from initial contact, to talking, to meeting in two days. I knew from our first conversation that I would probably fall for him…I also had a feeling that I shouldn’t.  He was a smart-ass, exactly what I tend to go for.
We met at a bar for our first date. I was smitten as soon as I saw him. He was cute and looked great in his jeans. More importantly though… he made me laugh.  We talked about tons of things, like how much he loves his job, and that he had only been to one wedding, and that he made a point to watch Judge Judy everyday. It was a great date. I went home extra smiley. And then…he called me the next day…and everyday after that…until the end.
One week into dating him, he asked me to come over and meet his brother. I told him I wasn’t ready for that step yet. Meeting the family is a big deal! A few days later, he asked me if I would like to have dinner with him, I said yes…and then he said “great, because I already told my brother you were coming, and it would be rude to cancel.” Ugh, really? He trapped me! So, I went… and absolutely loved his family. They were funny and sweet…but definitely gave me a hard time…jokingly.
The next week, he wanted me to meet his friends… on the way out, in the car, he told me that he had a porn addiction. He told me that it was no longer a problem. Ah…what? What do you say to that? Not to mention, the internal conversation I had with myself…”Uh, is he going to try to slap me in the face with his business…(yes, I said business)? Am I gonna have to get implants? When he brings me dinner, am I going to have to say “I have no money to tip you…maybe I could repay you another way…wink wink”.  I am not a fan of porn…I don’t like the unrealistic expectations it places on sex…especially if someone is so obsessed with it, that his family and friends had an intervention… but, I just ignored it…put it in the back of my mind. I mean, everything else about him was wonderful…he liked spending time with me, he made me laugh, he would tell me that I am beautiful….wonderful…. I thought…
Although, it was weird… so many things he told me, later would come up different. On our first date, he told me he had been to one wedding… a month into dating, somehow it came up that he had been to three. There were a ton of little discrepancies like this…but I really didn’t think anything of it. I mean, who lies about such useless things! Especially, someone that told me about his porn addiction (which I probably would have never found out about), and many other personal details that I don't feel right sharing...even without using his name. But, lets just say...he told me quite a few things that many guys lie about...all things, I would not have known immediately.
After two weeks, he asked me to be exclusive. I said no. My last relationship went from meeting to living together in two months… I didn’t want to rush anything…and then, I felt like a jerk. I didn’t want to date anyone else. I'm not good at dating multiple people. So I agreed. And then, everything was going great. We got along perfectly. He was not perfect, by any means, but I liked him…a lot. In fact, everyone that met him, loved him.
It all started down hill one day, when we were hanging out at my house. I went to check my Facebook messages. My computer, automatically logs me in…I had no idea, he had even used my computer… I went to my messages, and clicked on someone random…didn’t know who it was…and apparently, I was in his account. It was messaging back and forth, between him and some girl. He was telling her that he still thinks about her, and wants to get together, etc. At this point, we had been dating for about two months. I asked him about…and showed him what I found. I told him, if he wanted to date her...he could. I'm not about to hold him back. I don't want someone that wants someone else. He then admitted that he had never been faithful. He said, nothing happened, and that he felt terrible. He said, he really wanted to be a better person. He said, he really wants to be with me. And, because I am stupid…I forgave him….but didn’t fully trust him.
A couple days later….after feeling sick to my stomach…I checked online. He had told me (without me asking) that he took down his dating profile…so I decided to take a look. Not only, was his profile still up…but he had been online that day. So I broke up with him.
A few days passed...and he texted me. He said he was sorry, he said that I dont deserve to be treated that way. He said lots of things... and again, I forgave him. I mentioned I am stupid right?
About a month later, I caught him in the same old lies... but this time, I didn't forgive him.
I still sometimes think about him…and sadly enough, miss him…the good parts anyways. And I still don’t understand… he was sweet to me, and genuinely seem to care about me. He saved the receipt from our first date…he said he kept it, because he knew he would be with me. He wanted to show me off to his friends and family. He wanted to be around me all the time. He told me all of the horrible things he went through as a child, and all the things he hoped for in the future. He cried to me about these things. 
So…did he use me to make an ex jealous? Was he just a player? Or did he genuinely care?
The truth is…I hope to meet someone like him again…just lacking the porn addictions, the white lies, and the troubled heart!
Ugh, Dating!