Thursday, November 3, 2011

The Window Puncher

I met The Window Puncher at a networking event. I was smitten immediately. He was confident, cute, and seemed to really have it all together. We exchanged numbers and kept in touch on a friendly basis. Although, every time we talked I was hoping he would realize how awesome I am, and ask me out. He never did…
So, being the stupid, desperate dater that I am, I asked him to go golfing with me. I had a connection to get a free round of golf and I knew The Window Puncher loved to golf…so I took advantage of the opportunity. Maybe, if he had a chance to spend time with me outside of the business talk…he would fall madly in love. I had it all planned out!
We had a great day golfing. I made cheesy jokes about golf being a Par-tee…and he actually laughed. He is so considerate! We flirted…I think…I mean, I know I flirted…shamelessly. He didn’t seem to want to I think that is a start, right?
We had a few drinks on the golf course and decided to continue the Par-tee (haha…still find it funny) elsewhere. So we dropped our cars off at my house and walked down the street to the local dive bar.
We were having a blast! Drinking, mingling…he sang a few songs at karaoke….all in all, great times. Everyone was telling us how cute we are together. I was loving every second of it.  He was hugging me, and sitting really close. Finally…the plan was starting to work!
We decided to head home, so we said goodbye to all our new bar friends and headed out the door. On the way out…he went crazy…and punched the window at the bar! Glass went everywhere..he was bleeding…and our new friends (ex friends) were yelling.  I didn’t know what happened. I just tried to calm everyone down. I begged the bartender to just let me take him home..he was beyond drunk, apparently. So I gave her my number and told her to call me in the morning…and that I would make sure the damage was paid for. Luckily she agreed.
It was a long walk home. He struggled walking…and he is quite a bit bigger than me…so it was interesting to say the least. And then, of course he tried to kiss me. Nothing I love more than kissing a bleeding drunk dude that can barely stand up on his own. At least I know, I'm super hot with beer goggles!
Finally we got home and I put him in my bed… and turned down all his attempts to try and sleep with me. This was not how I envisioned our love affair starting.
The next morning, we went to breakfast. I asked him if he remembered much. He did. I asked him what the heck happened. He said he didn’t know. He had never done that sort of thing before.  He then told me he was glad that we didn’t do anything…although he said he would of….uh Duh! So, basically, I was that girl. The pathetic girl that the jerk takes advantage of... Although,I don’t think he realized that I have a strict pants on rule….regardless of how much I like someone.  The Window Puncher is the type of guy that makes me grateful for my rules…I would have hated myself the next day when he went back to just treating me like business.
We haven’t seen each other much since that night. The last time I saw him was when he dropped off a check to reimburse me for the window.  And I have since, gotten over (way over) my crush.
Ugh, Dating!... or in this case, Ugh, Crushes!

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