Dating is a lot like Death... There is a grieving process, and you have to go through all the stages... The longer the relationship or courtship, the more stages you go through.
So, here is a break- down of my experience in the stages of dating:
The Denial Stage: When I meet a guy, and we hit it off, I believe the game is over. He likes me, I like him…its all good! I am in total denial that the ‘Game’ should continue. I don’t pretend that I am busy when I'm not, I don’t intentionally miss his phone calls, or act uninterested.
Here is a scenario to prove the problem with this:
Me: “I like you…youre cute!”
He hears: “I cant wait to see your face everyday for the rest of my life…can you please put a baby in me NOW!”
When I tell someone that I like them…it doesn’t mean I will like them forever. Its like they think the interview process is over. They already got the job, and instantly joined a Union…and they have job security. So now, they can be a lazy jerk head…and more importantly..now they are more interested in some other job…cause this one, was way too easy to get!
*Note: Boys, if I tell you I like you…that doesn’t mean I want to spend the rest of my life with you…it means that at this moment I like you…that moment can change in a heartbeat…so don’t get too comfortable.
The Anger Stage: This is my second most popular ‘zone’. I get angry when I feel like I'm not being heard…or I'm being taken for granted. I get angry when someone assumes what my expectations are! I guess this bothers me, because I am so up front with what I want. If I want to be with you exclusively, you will be the first to know…so don’t assume that I have already named our future children because I want to go on a second date!
*Intermission… (I need to cool off after being in the ANGER ZONE!!!)…
Ok, I'm good… did some meditation, broke some glass, yelled at a neighbor…and may, or may not have called someone a “stupid head”… I feel so much better!
The Bargaining Stage: This is when I think that maybe I jumped to conclusions…maybe, he was having a rough day…or maybe he found out he tiled his bathroom in the wrong pattern. Maybe, I should give him another chance…he seemed like such a great guy! I'm sure something terrible has happened…
I rationalize that he just needs space. He probably is scared that he met the perfect person for him…he didn’t think that he would meet the one he wants to marry so quickly… he needs to get so much accomplished before he can be the man he wants to be…for me.
*Note: The Bargaining Stage is a bunch of Balogna… Whenever I am outside of this stage, I realize how stupid I was…stupid bargaining stage!!!
The Depression Stage: Is it me? Why am I so unlovable? I thought we had fun, I thought we had chemistry…why do I fall for these guys that don't fall for me? What did I do wrong? Maybe, I will just be alone forever! Maybe its not even worth it! ….and lots of crying!!!
*Luckily…I don’t get to this stage too often… I mean, honestly…its depressing!
The Acceptance Stage: Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be! Thank god, I dodged that bullet! Moving on…Next!
I jump to this stage a lot… Most of my dates never get me to the Bargaining or Depression Stage…thank god!