The Crush

I met The Crush through mutual friends. They told me I should talk to him because he is a great guy and looking for the same things I am looking for. They said he wants to get married and have kids "like yesterday". Apparently this is also the vibe I give out....maybe its all the rotting ovaries comments.

Point is, I did talk to him and I did like him. He is funny...and as an added bonus, he is tall and skinny. Oh yeah!

So, I gave him my card...I know, lame...but, I just got them and was eager to hand them out. Two weeks passed...I never heard from him, and then my friend told me to come to a party with her because he would be there. I told her it was silly. I mean, if he was interested, he would have called. She told me boys are stupid...and well, I just couldn't argue with that!

At the party, I saw him and went over to say hello. He was obviously less than interested in having anything to do with me...in fact, most of the night it seemed he was avoiding me like the plague. I figured someone had told him I was interested and he didn't want to feed into it. So I blow it off (after telling my friend the bummer of it all), and enjoy myself. Later on, my friend comes over and tells me that he is interested and he is looking for me. So, I find him, and because I am a soft spoken butterfly, I ask him why he blew me off earlier. He said that I was the one who blew him off first. What? He showed me that he had texted me the day after we first met....but he sent it to the wrong number. So I told him that he is a geek, and corrected the number. I mean, how do you screw that up? You had a card with the number written right in front of you....well....I got home, and checked the cards. I printed 1000 of them with the wrong phone number. What a nerd! Who does that! ... I do! Its like I self sabotage.

Anyways, he asked me out a couple days later. We met up at a bar...and had a great time! He has the same sense of humor as me...super sarcastic. After the date, he sent me a text saying that he couldn't wait to see me again. I told him that I liked his attitude and felt the same way. He asked me to dinner again, but I was busy the rest of the week...but, he texted or called everyday that week. I loved it. I loved the attention. I loved having a crush again... and more importantly, hearing from that crush.

And, then....at the end of the week...with no further discussion of going out again, I didn't hear from him. The first day since our date... So, the stupid girl that I am, lacking all patience, texted him. I asked if he was mad (I know...stupid! I already mentioned that right?). 24 hours later, he responded "no, I'm not mad. Come on now! I just don't want to rush into anything. you know? you know!"    Ummm....what? What does that even mean? And, now what am I supposed to do with the tattoo of his name I got over my heart? I guess, I'm going to have to return the wedding dress I bought....and change my Facebook status back to single.

I didn't hear from him again for a couple weeks. But, eventually we ran into each other and talked. He tried to avoid the topic...but I wanted answers. He eventually told me that I am not marriage material and that he just doesn't like me. What happened? He wouldn't say. Later, he texted me and we talked again. He said that he does like me, but he felt backed into a corner. He said he wanted to see me again, but needed to take things slow. Umm...ok. I told him, I have no problem with that, I was strictly reacted to his actions. He admitted to being part of the blame. We ended the conversation with me telling him the ball is in his court...he said "well, you have my number too" and I said "well, I'm not going to use it"...and I haven't. And neither has he. So that was the last time we really talked. I still have no clue what happened.

The truth is, I can handle rejection. I was an ugly child...I got very accustomed to it. What I struggle with is closure. Did, someone say something nasty about me to him? Did he meet someone he liked better? What?

I don't want what I cant have. I have never been one to chase someone...either they like me or they don't. So, I have just chalked it up to that...he just wasn't that into me. So be it. This one, did inspire me to take a break though. It exhausted me!

Ugh, Dating!