Monday, October 24, 2011

The High Fiver

I met the High Fiver online. He had two pictures up, that I later learned were from a really good angle.  We chatted online, back and forth, a few times, and exchanged numbers.
On the phone, he was funny and polite. We talked almost every day for about two weeks before we were able to meet. I looked forward to his phone calls, and formed quite a crush on him. I have had this happen several times before, apparently I need to burn my hand off before I realize the stove is hot. I mean seriously, how many times can you be let down before you stop getting your hopes up. I guess I am an eternal optimist. I really do believe there is someone perfect for me out there....although, the pickings are definitely getting slimmer.
I was positive he was going to end my online dating. I was sure that this was it for me. I was going to meet a great guy, that makes me laugh…
I was wrong!
We finally met. He decided on an upscale sushi place…even though I told him that I was coming from a dinner party.
When I saw him walk up…I could tell it was him...just a fatter, older, version of him with bad skin. I can overlook all of these things if the personality is amazing. But, I have to say, it is tough to get over how much this person stretched the truth to start with.
So we awkwardly embraced, and said hello. We took a seat at the bar to wait for a table, and ordered a drink.  He was extremely cocky in how he carried himself and spoke. It’s amazing how well these traits can be masked over the phone.
He asked me a few questions, like if I have ever seen an episode of Jersey Shore. As much as I hate to admit it, I had. I saw 2 episodes with the Compulsive Liar (you will learn about him at a later date). So I told the High Fiver that I had indeed killed a few brain cells on that show.  He responded by giving me a high five. Umm….ok? I didn’t make a scene about it, just went with it. I now, wish I would have faked an oncoming illness and ran for the door. But instead, I followed him to the table. Yes, you did read that correctly, I followed him. He wasn’t much of a gentleman.
At dinner, we each ordered  one more drink, and he ordered something to eat. He asked me if I liked sushi. I told him only because I love wasabi. He high fived me. He asked me if I like sports. I told him that I really love going to Suns games. He high fived me. This went on all of dinner. My hand was red for an hour after the date, from the endless high fiving. That’s the good part of talking on the phone, they can’t high five you. Although I bet, after experiencing his love of a good high five, that he air fived me millions of times during that first two weeks on the phone.
Finally we left. I was cordial, and nice….and drove off as fast as I could.
He later texted me to tell me he had a great time, but he wasn’t sure how I felt. I texted him that I had a wonderful time, but I didn’t feel a connection. He told me that since I pride myself in being honest that now was time to prove it…he wanted to know why. I told him that I have no interest in being mean. So he proceeded to text yell at me…in CAPITALS. He told me that it was awful and rude for me to let him pay for my drinks, when I knew I had no interest. How dare I waste his time and money. I told him that I was obviously right about the decision I made about him and that I only had two drinks. He text yelled some more about how he is a great catch. He was really starting to sell me...I reconsidered...all the text YELLS really had me thinking.. maybe, I judged too quickly. So we went out again, and have since been dating for weeks now. ahhh Love, so so sweet.
Ummm....ok... What really happened, is...
I stopped responding. I am not going to feed into a Crazo. There can only be one crazo per couple, and I am pretty sure I have that covered.
Eventually, he stopped text yelling.
The truth is, I  felt defeated after the High Fiver. I had him so built up to be the man I was looking for…and it was quite a disappointment.
After him, I cancelled my online profile and took a break. The High Fiver inspired me to appreciate the single life…
For a while…
Ugh, Dating!

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