Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Gene Simmons

Sometimes….Ok, most of the time, I make the mistake of talking too much. I let it all out, right up front.  I tell these poor boys exactly whats on my mind…good or bad. 

At the time of Gene Simmons, I was following a new theory. The theory was created because I tend to end up with guys that I have amazing chemistry with, but no connection. I thought that I might be dismissing nice guys because I didn’t get butterflies in my stomach or the overall feeling of needing to vomit (in a good way). I thought that maybe if I spent more time with them, I would grow to like them.  I was wrong…the theory is stupid! And it is even more stupid when you tell the guy on your date about your new theory. I did this to Gene Simmons. I told him that regardless of how I felt, I was going to give every guy at least three dates to win me over. I cant believe he even wanted to go out with me.

So on date one, I spilled the beans. From then on out, it is all he would talk about…wanting to make it to date four. Although, now that I think about it...maybe this was pure genius! Guys love a competition. Let them compete for date four...and get royal treatment in the meantime! Ugh, I wish I could do that!

So Anyways, before I spilled the beans of my dating plans… we  actually talked about a few other topics, like my obsession with watches. I think it is sexy when a guy wears them…and when I do. ;) I think its because, I assume that when a man wears a watch, he will be on time. Nothing sexier than a punctual guy! Gene (yes, first name basis), told me his mom lived in New York and was always buying knock off watches…and that they looked legit. I smiled and nodded and told him how cool I thought that was…although I didn’t. I know, I am spoiled.but when it comes to a watch, I like the real thing. The weight, the feel, the function. So Hot!

On date two, Gene kept telling me that he was getting me a gift…that was sure to get him to date four. Yes, he actually said this. He wanted to mail it to me, but I wouldn’t give him my address. You just never know, when they are going to go crazy. I asked him if he was going to send flowers. He said that he was way more “in tune” than that. Oh geez… although I have to admit, I love presents…so I was intrigued. We finished the date with a kiss. Not great, not terrible. But eh!

On date three, we met at a restaurant, and he walked towards me with his hands behind his back. He told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand. I did, even though I was a bit hesitant. I don’t know why, maybe cause I grew up with two brothers, but I always expect a slug or booger, or something sticky and gross to be put in my hand..especially with my eyes closed and my defenses down. 

Anyways,  I open my eyes..he gave me a watch. Like he had just taken it off and put it in my hand. It was masculine and needed to be cleaned. He was so proud of himself. He told me he called his mom and had her pick it out special for me. Really? You asked her to pick me out a dirty, man watch? Wow! Even though most of my thoughts fall out of my mouth…I was able to just smile and tell him how wonderful it was. You never want to act like you don’t like it, because you want the presents to keep coming….and eventually they will have to get a good one in there.

So during dinner, he told me that when he was a kid, they severed the tendon under his tongue…so now he was like Gene Simmons…(finally his name makes sense).  I didn’t really know how to respond. Umm that’s nice?

At the end of the night, he walked me to my car, and went in for a kiss. During it, all I could think about was how he was able to control that thing. What if he loses muscle control and gags me! Gross! I don’t want to suffocate by a third date tongue. 

Luckily, I got through the kiss…and went out with him one more time. I went on date four because I felt guilty. He was so motivated to get there, and its not his fault he has a freakish tongue…and he did buy me (or find me) a really manly watch...and most importantly, I love frozen yogurt. 

During the date, we had nothing to talk about. Since he made it to date four, he didn’t need to talk about whether or not he would get there…so there was just awkward silences. Finally, he said, he could tell that I am not feeling it. So we hugged and parted ways.

He still will randomly send me emails… but I am still not interested.

Ugh, Dating!

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