I guess you all need an explanation on my slackage (yes,
slackage…if it’s not already, it needs to be a word). I haven’t blogged in
months…I needed a break! Dating is exhausting, physically and emotionally. I
needed time to not care about anyone but me. A chance to be as selfish as I
want without worrying of another person’s feelings….and it was AWESOME! I have
loved almost every second of it. I say almost, because I have been to a few
weddings and other gatherings where I was the only single person…nothing makes
you feel more pathetic than the oldest and most solo person at a dinner table. But,
I have mastered the art of the extra wheel…I have become a pro at not crying
when someone asks if I am dating anyone…. And, although it took lots of
practice in the mirror, I can smile and nod, and pretend I can relate to almost
any couple-y type story. Don’t get me wrong, I have been a “couple”, I know
these stories, and at one time could most certainly relate…but lately, I feel
100% single…and happy with it…most of the time of course. I have always been
with someone or looking for someone…this is new territory for me, and it has
been great. ..But let’s be honest, although I love making decisions with no one
in mind but me, I’m no spring chicken.
The truth is, my looks are just gonna keep going downhill…unless
I’m a Demi Moore, but I get a bad feeling I’m not. So I need someone to fall in
love with me quick before I’m a total disaster. For instance, the other day, I
realized my wrinkles are deepening. I have hit the age of the the deepening
wrinkle! (Don’t worry, I’m doing all I can…I bought an aloe plant and apply it
every day to slow this process, but I’m sure it can only do sooo much). So, for these reasons (and my actively aging
ovaries)…I think I need to start dating again.
So, with that said…I guess I need to get back out there. But
what do I do, where do I go? I guess, I could tattoo “single and ready to
mingle” on my forehead…in Henna, of course, I wouldn’t want that to be permanent…that
could ruin everything!
I know I can just get back online…but let’s be honest, that
really is only going to help this blog…
Ugh, Dating!
Hit on people in grocery stores. Also do not apply the entire aloe plant to your face, you just want the gooey stuff inside of it (gigitty).
ReplyDeleteI don't know where, but it's gonna happen, and I can't wait to read all about it!
ReplyDeleteUgh, you are horrible.
ReplyDeleteI just stumbled upon this blog.
NO WONDER you're single. Find a better hobby and you'll up your chances!
Coward.
DeleteHmmmm... Horrible?
DeleteI've been stumbling around this blog for a while. During that time I've seen silly, sexy, and sad. She's been pleasant, patient and politely considerate of other people. (whether they deserve it or not)
I've seen bubbly, beautiful, bold, and even bashful. If you pay attention, from time to time you get a glimpse into a heart full of happiness.
So, How you happen to hit on horrible is truly incomprehensible to me.
Perhaps you are perplexed and petrified of your own inadequate insecurities and lack the character, courage and confidence that it takes to convey the complexities of companionship.
On second thought, Nevermind. You are just another Anonymous Idiot, and I'm done wasting my time thinking about you.
Dear Spineless Troll (I mean Anonymous),
DeleteFirst is all, get a life. You claim the author needs to get a life but you're the one trolling blogs and insulting people all while hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet.
Perhaps if there were less people like you in this world, blogs like this wouldn't needI to exist. Please do us all a favor and find someone else to annoy.
Ouch! I am sorry you think such things of me... and maybe, if you knew me at all, I would take this to heart.
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better by knocking me down though.
Sorry- I meant- doesn't even have the courtesy to leave their name, so we know what to call you when we're saying what a jerk you are. You got me so upset that I screwed up my grammar. Now I have two reasons to be pissed at you.
ReplyDelete