Friday, August 10, 2012

Hello? I'm Back...sort of...I think, Maybe


I guess you all need an explanation on my slackage (yes, slackage…if it’s not already, it needs to be a word). I haven’t blogged in months…I needed a break! Dating is exhausting, physically and emotionally. I needed time to not care about anyone but me. A chance to be as selfish as I want without worrying of another person’s feelings….and it was AWESOME! I have loved almost every second of it. I say almost, because I have been to a few weddings and other gatherings where I was the only single person…nothing makes you feel more pathetic than the oldest and most solo person at a dinner table. But, I have mastered the art of the extra wheel…I have become a pro at not crying when someone asks if I am dating anyone…. And, although it took lots of practice in the mirror, I can smile and nod, and pretend I can relate to almost any couple-y type story. Don’t get me wrong, I have been a “couple”, I know these stories, and at one time could most certainly relate…but lately, I feel 100% single…and happy with it…most of the time of course. I have always been with someone or looking for someone…this is new territory for me, and it has been great. ..But let’s be honest, although I love making decisions with no one in mind but me, I’m no spring chicken.

The truth is, my looks are just gonna keep going downhill…unless I’m a Demi Moore, but I get a bad feeling I’m not. So I need someone to fall in love with me quick before I’m a total disaster. For instance, the other day, I realized my wrinkles are deepening. I have hit the age of the the deepening wrinkle! (Don’t worry, I’m doing all I can…I bought an aloe plant and apply it every day to slow this process, but I’m sure it can only do sooo much).  So, for these reasons (and my actively aging ovaries)…I think I need to start dating again.

So, with that said…I guess I need to get back out there. But what do I do, where do I go? I guess, I could tattoo “single and ready to mingle” on my forehead…in Henna, of course, I wouldn’t want that to be permanent…that could ruin everything!

I know I can just get back online…but let’s be honest, that really is only going to help this blog…

Ugh, Dating!

9 comments:

  1. Hit on people in grocery stores. Also do not apply the entire aloe plant to your face, you just want the gooey stuff inside of it (gigitty).

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  2. I don't know where, but it's gonna happen, and I can't wait to read all about it!

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  3. Ugh, you are horrible.
    I just stumbled upon this blog.
    NO WONDER you're single. Find a better hobby and you'll up your chances!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmm... Horrible?
      I've been stumbling around this blog for a while. During that time I've seen silly, sexy, and sad. She's been pleasant, patient and politely considerate of other people. (whether they deserve it or not)
      I've seen bubbly, beautiful, bold, and even bashful. If you pay attention, from time to time you get a glimpse into a heart full of happiness.

      So, How you happen to hit on horrible is truly incomprehensible to me.
      Perhaps you are perplexed and petrified of your own inadequate insecurities and lack the character, courage and confidence that it takes to convey the complexities of companionship.

      On second thought, Nevermind. You are just another Anonymous Idiot, and I'm done wasting my time thinking about you.

      Delete
    2. Dear Spineless Troll (I mean Anonymous),

      First is all, get a life. You claim the author needs to get a life but you're the one trolling blogs and insulting people all while hiding behind the anonymity of the Internet.

      Perhaps if there were less people like you in this world, blogs like this wouldn't needI to exist. Please do us all a favor and find someone else to annoy.

      Delete
  4. Ouch! I am sorry you think such things of me... and maybe, if you knew me at all, I would take this to heart.
    I hope you feel better by knocking me down though.

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  5. Dear Anonymous- congrats on being an asshole. Who bombs someone's blog with a comment like this, and doesn't even have the courtesy so we can say " (insert name here) is such a prick?" And just so you know, she has an awesome hobby (playing kickball/being generally awesome/NOT being a dick on other people's blogs), so you can go F yourself and mind your own business from now on. UGH- assholes!

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  6. Sorry- I meant- doesn't even have the courtesy to leave their name, so we know what to call you when we're saying what a jerk you are. You got me so upset that I screwed up my grammar. Now I have two reasons to be pissed at you.

    ReplyDelete