Thursday, August 25, 2011


I hate to seem cold hearted and shallow, but if you show up to a first and second date wearing Birkenstocks…well, you just can’t be in shock that you’re single…. And no, if you are wondering, I do NOT wear Birkenstocks. I personally have more picky, crazy, needy, commitment problems…therefore I dress really nice, so as not to add to the list. ;)

But really? Birkenstocks? Who still wears them?  I don’t think you could find anything more apt to show your lack of care in your appearance. I take that back…slippers could work better. Maybe I will call “Birkenstocks” and tell him he has more options to Un-impress!
Our first date, we met at a brewery on a Sunday. Great beer and appetizers will help any hopeless case. And as you will probably start to notice, I give almost anyone the benefit of the doubt on the first date…especially if I can stand to look at you. (Sorry, I’m a bit harsh today).  

We talked about his lack of excitement for his job and the fact that he really wanted to be a History Professor….but he wasn’t doing anything to accomplish that dream. When you’re 38 years old, you need to make a decision and start working towards that decision.  It seemed as if he just didn’t want to grow up and make adult decisions. And I am too old to deal with that!
He apologized for his wardrobe, explaining that he was moving things from his parent’s house (38 years old, and still moving in and out of his parent’s house…should have been my first clue!). He was wearing cargo shorts, a Muppet T-shirt (should have been my second clue), and those beautiful, “I’m still stuck in the college years” Birkenstocks. I let it slide…

Until our second date…

We met on Friday night at a trendy bar. He wore Cargo shorts, Birkenstocks, and (prepare yourself for the major effort to dress up) a button down, white collared shirt. (yes, I know what you’re thinking…”he really wore Birkenstocks to a bar on a Friday night?”). 

It made me want to leave, go to the mall, buy a pair of Birkenstocks (do they even still sell them anywhere?) and burn them!!!! Maybe if I start making money from this blog, I will buy all the Birkenstocks I can find…and burn them all. I think this could be considered a charitable deed. Could that qualify as a write off?

Anyways, back to the date… We walked around to check out the bar, or, actually he walked super speedy in front of me and I tried, in my 5 inch wedges, to keep up.  Those Birkenstocks can move!!!
He called out to someone to say hello…apparently this was one of the owners. Did I mention he did this on the first date also? I get it…you know people! NOT IMPRESSED! He never introduced me and just chatted to this guy about his kids and life and spent the next five minutes leaving me standing there awkward.

Thank god, I had an appointment in the morning and had the perfect excuse to leave early.  Which I did....and have not looked back! well...not until this blog.
Now, I would just like to point out that if he had a sparkling personality, had a clue about how to treat a lady, or even a tad of ambition, I would have overlooked the Birkenstocks.  I mean, my future husband wore 80s style mom jeans for men and hiking boots…so really it’s the guy, not the shoes! And ladies, the truth is, their clothing is the one thing you can change!

Ugh, Dating!


  1. can i have list of these guys so i dont attempt to date them too?? he he

  2. lol...we can exchange "do not date" lists later :)

  3. Your blog makes me so thankful I met and married my sweetie when I was very young (18). Neither of us knew enough about life to dress badly or be rude when on a date. Just celebrated 37 years on Aug. 23rd - here's to hoping you find your perfect mate!

  4. Congratulations!!!
    and thank you, I hope to find him as well :)

  5. Well if you're still single at 38, what were you expecting?