Derek...My Car

A few years ago, I desperately wanted a new car. I had the CRV in my sights. I manifested getting this car. I thought they were so cute…and different from what I had been driving my whole life. The day came…I got an awesome deal on a lease…first time ever leasing (and last). I was so pumped up about finally getting my car that I didn’t even focus on what I liked about it. I named the car Derek. Over the course of the year and half I had Derek, I realized that I had no love towards it. The outside was beautiful…but the inside was boring. I grew to hate that car…even though there was nothing overall terrible about it. It just wasn’t for me.

The point of this story is that I went on a date...his name is Derek.  I was instantly excited about him. He actually asked questions and seemed interested in my answers. We talked for hours with no lapse…and he was super cute. And then, he asked to meet me (yes, I met him online). He suggested the dog park…another plus…he is a dog lover. 

The day came to meet him. It was over one hundred degrees outside and we are going to a dog park. How do you look cute for this? As soon as I walk outside, I will sweat my bangs out…they get curly…believe me, it’s not attractive. But, I stayed positive. I threw on cute shorts and a tank top (and lots of hairspray)… and drove to the park… and hoped that the name Derek was not symbolic.

We said hello, hugged, and walked around. It was hard to even focus though…there were millions of flies. They were everywhere. It was like a plague. I started to become terrified that if I opened my mouth to talk, one might fly in. Ugh! We tried to just keep moving...but nothing worked. You would have thought there were rotting carcasses lying around the park. We started to look like crazy people…smacking ourselves, and dancing around. All of this, I found funny. Apparently he didn’t. He hit himself in the face pretty good…I laughed (maybe bad timing?). He shook it off and we walked to the cars. (Don't worry, he seemed to walk fine. He didn't hit himself that hard). He said he needed to "get out of these flies". Understandable! 

The entire date lasted 27 minutes. I didn’t even realize I had signed up for speed dating. It was awkward, nothing like our phone conversations. I walked to my car (by myself) very confused…How did that date go? No clue! 

He had asked me what my schedule was like this week. He said next time we will do something inside. He said he would call me.  Maybe, it is soon…but I haven’t heard from him. And the truth is...I’m okay with it. I just want something more. I want to feel excited about the car, even after I drive it. (No, this is not a sex analogy...but if it were, I would say the same thing).

And then, it hit me. He is like my CRV. Exciting and new and pretty to look at…but boring inside. He came to the park and left his humor at home. Maybe he was tired (he said he had worked 32 days straight).  Maybe he wasn’t attracted to me (although my pictures are pretty accurate online).  Or, Maybe,  it wasn’t actually him that I talked to on the phone…. Maybe he is the face? Maybe, the guy I actually talked to on the phone was too embarrassed to meet me, because he has some kind of weird growth or something…and so he sends Derek to represent him in person. There are just so many ‘maybe’s’! 

Whatever it was, the point is that I want something more! I want more than a reliable car with power windows, and a pretty exterior. I want something with power and corky-ness (like secret compartments).  I just don’t want another Derek.

Ugh, Dating!