The Convenient Squirrel

Let’s start with a joke. 

How many people with ADD does it take to change a light bulb?

-Oooh Squirrel!

I have no judgment towards those with ADD…in fact, I suffer from this as well (ask anyone that knows me). Although, I’m more distracted by shiny objects…Oooh sparkles! But, I do have judgment towards those that seem to only have ADD moments while I’m talking… and seem completely focused when they are. Let’s not blame ADD on this...this is just bad social behavior.

I met The Squirrel online. We met the first time at the dog park. This was very smart on his part...you can’t help to be distracted...with dogs (and sometimes squirrels) running all over.  And, there will be no concerns if the guy accidentally gets distracted…and forgets his wallet. All in all, the first date went well…as well as can be expected…I guess. The truth is, I am newly single and struggling to get past who I was with.  I’m sure you’re wondering why I am even dating in the first place? It’s probably a better idea, to heal from the last relationship, before trying to dive into a new one. I guess this is how I deal with break ups.  My Ex didn’t just come out and say he didn’t want to be with me…but, his actions told me this…so I’m feeling rejected. And when you’re feeling rejected…what better way to feel better than to get lots of attention elsewhere? I know, this doesn’t actually work…but if you have read any of these other blogs…I don’t learn my lesson. I will just keep banging my head against the wall…wondering why my head hurts. Anyways, the point is…I’m having a hard time getting excited about anyone right now….there was so much I adored in my ex… Although, not sure that The Squirrel was a good test to prove that no one can compare.

After the dog park date, I left feeling quasi hopeful. He is attractive, tall…seemed to be funny. And, asked to see me again. Not a bad start. 

A couple days after our first date, he called to make plans for a second date. The phone call was awkward. He didn’t laugh at any of my super funny jokes. He barely talked at all...except to somewhat suggest a next date. He suggested we grab a drink…and suggested we head to a bar that I had mentioned. He said he would pick me up. Normally, I don’t allow this…but apparently had a lapse of judgment, and agreed to the ride. So the date was planned.

The day of the second (and last) date came. He picked me up on time…which always impresses me. So far, so good. On the way to the bar, he frantically starts looking through his car…and says that he forgot his wallet. How convenient. Although, he did have twenty dollars on him. He seemed convincing. It seemed this was really just an ADD moment...not planned. So I said I could pay. I didn’t expect for him to drink more than me (he was driving), or want dinner too. 

We get to the bar; have a few drinks (he had more than a few). He liked to talk...which I love. I like chatty boys…but I also don’t want to be talked at. Once in awhile, it’s nice to have questions asked…ya know, showing a little interest. Every story he told, he was focused…not distracted by everything going on around us. Anytime, I would comment or share my own story, he would look around and then blame his ADD. Hmm…seems convenient. 

After a few drinks, and lots of stories of his party past, filled with lots and lots of drugs (not my thing). He asked if I wanted to get dinner. So, sweet of him to offer…since I would be paying. But, I thought getting some food in him before he drives me home would be a great idea….not to mention, I’m sure he had the munchies.

We walk to a restaurant, and a guy in front of us, held the door open. The squirrel just walks right in…in front of me. It has become clear…I am the man on this date. 

So we eat, he orders with no concern of me paying…and orders another drink. I hope he is enjoying his free night out! At this point…I’m over it. I was ready to go. I was worried about him driving…but I thought it was worth the risk. I didn’t want to have to spend any more time listening to him talk, or take the chance he would suggest more ideas for me to pay for.

Luckily, I made it home…safe and sound…and wondering if this need for attention to help me recover from my last rejection…is worth the risk.

…..I have a feeling something shiny will come around and fool me to keep going though.

Ugh, Dat…..Oooh Squirrel!