Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Nice Shoes, Want to F**k?

I would just like to share the email I received (with my commentary throughout):

“Hi there Lovely :),

I just wanted to say hi and let you know how truly beautiful I think you are. (Thank you, I never hear that…let me take my pants off). I was also wondering if you might be interested in having a romantic relationship with one another. (I think ultimately this is what everyone is looking for…eventually).

Essentially it would be a friends with benefits type of relationship (oh…now I get the romance talk) with the hopes of becoming more down the road.  I have very limited free time while I start a new business and am putting in crazy hours, so I would rather spend the little free time I do have getting to know someone intimately and emotionally until my schedule becomes normal again. (Or, I don’t know…maybe wait a few months and service yourself).  In a few months, I will have much more free time to add in the typical date nights and work on a full blown relationship at that time. (This is when you would find time to find a different girl, with self esteem.)

I also think it would actually be easier to get to know someone while cuddling, watching a movie (I’m pretty sure that’s not what you have in mind), and being intimate versus going to a noisy bar or restaurant and trying to get to know each other that way. I think it is a lot more natural and less stressful than the typical dating procedures that never seem to work out. (Totally not stressful….Hi I’m Chelsea…let me get naked). 

If the relationship progresses into more, (If you are a tomcat in the bedroom...and your personality doesn't totally suck!), that would be great, (but it won’t!) but it should be nothing we feel the need to force or rush into. (The longer I can get some, and not pay for anything, the better). If you are at all interested in something like this type of relationship, please let me know. I also hope you are not offended in any way and that I hear from you soon.”

….So basically, I would really like to F**k you, but not so badly, that I want to buy you dinner first. How Romantic!

Ugh, Dating!

1 comment:

  1. Was this from an online dating website guy or someone you met organically? I wonder if he "copies and pastes" this email...